Minor fail.

Here’s a 69-word ditty I submitted for a little user-ran contest on the forums over at Scribophile (which is an awesome place for aspiring writers, especially for honest critiques). Yes, it had to be 69 words, and no, I didn’t win.

The grating sound of the door woke him. He winced at the light.

A girl stumbled in, pushed roughly, then the door was slammed and locked behind her.

“He-Hello?” she whimpered into the darkness.

Her fear smelled incredible. She crept towards him, feeling her way along the wall.

At first he fought the urge. He knew she wouldn’t survive. But when she was nearly upon him, he took her.

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